And perhaps that is one reason why living things are so interesting and why we have so many people interested in trying to find out more. It is because we do not know – and that can be the most interesting thing of all.

In Israel, today, a lot of people want to understand how a man can walk into a bank and kill four innocent people and injure others – all because he couldn’t withdraw money from his account, which was 6,000 shekels overdrawn – not much at all.

Clearly, there was more to it than that. It seems he’d sunk into depression since being dismissed from his job as security officer ten years ago. He was dismissed because of poor relations with his colleagues (but, surprisingly, allowed to keep his gun). Neighbours described him as a loner. Of course.

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I have to file this post under “Everyday life in Israel.” I started that category because I wanted to write about everyday life rather than the violence you hear about on the news. But this crime is far from usual. It’s the sort of crime we hear about in the US or elsewhere. Not here in Israel. We don’t do that sort of thing.

And that’s why ordinary people in Israel are shocked today. To think that even here there are people who are capable of shooting innocent bystanders for such an apparently trivial “reason,” or for any reason at all.

One more thing I have to say: There are many loners in the world. There are many people who suffer from depression. Very, very few of them could even contemplate committing a crime like this.

Path up to the monastery

In quaint but comprehensible English, the leaflet from the Ten Thousand Buddhas Monastery provides a lot of information. The main building, the Ten Thousand Buddhas Temple, contains over 12,800 Buddha statues as well as the lacquered and gold-coated body of the founder, Reverend Yuet Kai. There are several other temples and pavilions.

Path up to monastery

What it doesn’t say is how many steps you have to climb to get there. No, I didn’t count them, but there were many. Fortunately, we found plenty to look at on the way, and much more when we arrived at the top.

Outside the temples

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Yuet Kai not only climbed the steps, but between the ages of about 71 and 79, he carried building materials up the mountain together with his disciples.

“Opening hours,” says the leaflet. “9:00 a.m. – 5:30 p.m everyday (except the heavy raining day or with over typhoon signal No. 8 or above is hanged)”

Outside the temples

It rained the day we were there, but fortunately not heavily enough to close the monastery.

Outside the temples

After visiting all the fascinating temples, we decided to eat in the small, vegetarian restaurant. We’d read the menu and fancied the spring rolls. I don’t know whether it was because not all the items on the menu were available or because the two women serving didn’t speak a lot of English, but we didn’t get our spring rolls. However the soup, noodles and tea were very tasty. The two women kept filling up our bowls and cups, and stood laughing at us as we ate. It was a little off-putting, but we took it in our stride and smiled back.

Outside the temples

We didn’t believe this notice.

Monkey business

We also didn’t believe the young people from eastern Europe who told us to beware of the large monkey. After all, we’d climbed up those very steps and hadn’t seen any monkeys. But on the way down, there they were.

Monkeys

Fortunately they were too busy nit-picking to attack us.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy walking. I enjoy the views and the country air and the exercise. Much better than the crowds and the pollution of the city. It’s just that sometimes, when D has sprinted to the top of a steep hill and I’m still struggling at the bottom, I feel a bit deflated. But when I finally reach the top, my high spirits return.

Sai Wan Shan

And some of the time we worried about the threatened thunderstorms. We experienced one of those on our first evening – from inside an underground train station. It certainly wouldn’t be pleasant to be caught in one of those with no protection around, but fortunately we weren’t.

We saw some magnificent views, but the one that interested me the most shows the countryside and the city on a misty day.

Shek O National Park

Shek O National Park

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We walked through a fishing village with ramshackle houses and TV aerials and air conditioning.

Tao O fishing village

We were fascinated by the myriad of fish shops, but didn’t feel tempted to buy any. We passed restaurants full of people eating tasty-looking meals, but were put off by Chinese-only menus and waiters who didn’t speak English. We felt more comfortable eating in the city, where English is spoken and written.

Back in the city, we marvelled at Kowloon Park with its birds, waterfalls, heritage museum, totem pole,

Flamingos in Kowloon Park

Totem Pole in Kowloon Park

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and much more. We enjoyed watching groups of little children in their colourful raincoats.

Kowloon Park

And there was more climbing in the form of steps leading to the Ten Thousand Buddhas Monastery, which deserves a post of its own.

Chinese White Dolphins

As promised, I have summarised below what I learned from this challenge.

A is for Are you sitting comfortably

Out of the many lovely, encouraging comments, I chose this one:

“Memory is the grist to our mill as writers.” David Rory

B is for Beginnings

“Just as with writing a novel you can begin at a dramatic or crucially important point in your life and then go back later to show what led up to that point. Look at the way other memoir writers have done it, but then decide what you feel is right for you.” Jean Davison

C is for Craft

Angela Brown and Rosalind Adam added to my list of qualities needed to write a memoir, making:

• Memory
• Detachment
• Insight into the past
• Story-telling
• Humour
• Ability to draw the reader in
• Order
• Logic
• Understanding
• Perseverance
• Honesty
• Self-belief

Nick Wilford gave me some great advice on writing the memoir:

“How about placing a memoir in a historical context, of what was happening at the time; even if the author was not directly involved in those events it helps to build atmosphere.”

D is for Detachment

“I actually wrote a journal for a while in third person, which made me detach myself from everyday experiences, I learnt a lot from doing that.” chicaderock

“I found it easier to gain a healthy detachment when doing the editing rather than the first draft…. I think my early drafts were a necessary part of the process, and then when I was ready to put on my editing hat, I was better able to step back and decide how to shape the material.” Jean Davison

E is for Empathy

There seems to be a new sort of spam comment, which can appear to be a real comment because it pastes a sentence or two on the subject of the post. I think that’s what this is, because it seems to be part of a sentence and because the website in the link no longer exists (although searching for the string didn’t bring up any results):

“empathy is yes, in the details. Not the telling.”

Nevertheless it makes an important point. The details create empathy: the quiver in his voice, the stain on her dress, the empty glass.

F is for Feelings

“If… you don’t know what your feelings were then ‘sad’, ‘confused’ or even ‘emotionless’ are still appropriate adjectives.” Ann

“I think that the writing itself does generate feelings…. My experience is that when I write about something difficult in the past, there can be two results: either I become depressed and stuck (cause I haven’t really worked through this thing yet) – in which case I wouldn’t let anybody else read it – or I write myself to a better place.” Krina

“I think the fact that you felt you had to suppress and block out your feelings speaks volumes in itself, if you can get that feeling across to your readers.” Gill Downs

“Extracting feelings can be a tricky task. I’ve found that the best way to recall the feelings or emotions from a particular time, free writing worked well. No standards of what to expect when I wrote, simply me, a pen, a piece of paper, or three, and the release of the scene in all its horrible grammatical glory.” ~Angela Brown

H is for Humour

“Humor is so important! It’s not fair to just be intense and not allow the reader a chance to catch their breath.” AJ

I is for Insight

“When writing my memoir, sometimes I had to ask myself, could I be certain that my memories of how I felt about an incident then weren’t getting mixed up with how I feel about it now? Not always easy (though my old diaries helped a lot). I suppose this is where insight is linked to detachment, truth, memory and other aspects of memoir writing.” Jean Davison

J is for Journey

As everyone remarked, our whole life is a journey and so is the writing of it. What wasn’t said here, but was said in other posts in different ways, is that they’re not return (round trip) journeys. For better or for worse, there is no passage back to the place we were before.

L is for List of good memoirs

Nagzilla, catdownunder and David Rory added to my list to make:

• Frank McCourt: Angela’s Ashes
• Jeannette Walls: The Glass Castle
• Elizabeth Gilbert: Eat, Pray, Love
• Alice Kaplan: French Lessons: A Memoir
• Stephen King: On Writing
• Barack Obama: Dreams from My Father
• Jean Davison: The Dark Threads
• Reva Mann: The Rabbi’s Daughter
• John Grogan: Marley & Me
• Jo Carroll: Hidden Tiger Raging Mountain (a travel memoir)
• Jenny Lawson: Let’s Pretend This Never Happened
• A B Facey: A Fortunate Life
• John Steinbeck: Journal of a Novel

M is for Memoir

The comments reflected the confusion about what a memoir is. It’s usually a part of a life as opposed to a whole-life autobiography. Some commenters also think a memoir gives the reader more freedom. As Pete Denton wrote:

“I think biographies are sometime very factual whereas a memoir is perhaps more open to creative license.

“When we were doing assignments in life writing we were encouraged to add details that were not necessarily true, but more artistic license. Paint the picture more like a story rather than be biographical.”

N is for Narrative voice

“I know that fiction is somewhat different but one does have to deal with the narrative voice in similar ways. I face these problems when I have to change from descriptive background or scene setting to present tense narrative of intimate moments or character building.
“The clunk danger is always there, too.
“I think one has to give the reader some credit for knowing what you are doing and allowing for these transitions. Most readers are able to sense how the writer is using their narrative and will be complicit in the style one chooses. They will do as theatre audiences do; they will suspend their disbelief if one carries them along in a well-paced narrative flow.
“I guess I’m saying, one can over think this process. The craft shouldn’t intrude; the art is in the hiding of the crafting. The narrator should be the reader’s friend and guide but should never bully or prod with too much crafting made visible.” David Rory

O is for Organisation

“I chose mainly chronological order starting with the point of entry into the mental health system and beginning of treatment, as this led into the main theme around which the book was focused. Later, I used some flashbacks to fill in background details about childhood and of what led up to going into hospital. I felt this worked best for what I was trying to do.” Jean Davison

P is for Proust

Royal Holloway Girl added to my list of Proust quotes:

“I think one of the most relevant things that he says (it isn’t clear how autobiographical his writing is) is how things in later life take you back to a certain point in earlier life.”

R is for Reunions for Reflective Research

Jean Davison, Royal Holloway Girl, Linda, Ann, Su-sieee! Mac, and Rachael ‘Honest’ Blair all commented on my reunion question, mostly advising not mentioning the memoir at first. Just finding things out from general chatter and leaving the memoir to emails later on. The general chatter part is harder for me than they probably realise, so I’m not sure about trying to follow this advice, but I’ll consider it.

S is for Secrets

“When I was working with kids we worked hard to help them understand that there’s a difference between ‘good secrets’ (what you’ve buying your mum for her birthday – I was rubbish at keeping those) and ‘bad secrets’ (anything that makes you uncomfortable, frightened, etc. – and most children keep these, regrettably.)

“As an adult, I’d also distinguish between things that are secret (because someone would be hurt if it were disclosed) and those that are private (anything I choose to keep to myself for my own reasons, but don’t hurt anyone.)” Jo Carroll

T is for Title, Topic, Theme and Takeaways

“Themes are also important because they help you in the marketing process. Check out the series of guest posts that I’ve got on the topic of Themes and Premise.” My Rite of Passage

W is for Why? And Wearing White

“Songs do and did often speak directly to me. When writing my memoir I put in song lyrics which spoke to me about what I was going through at the time. Sometimes a song wasn’t exactly meant to be about those things but for me it fit well with my thoughts, feelings and the events I was experiencing. But when my memoir was accepted for publication I had to take the lyrics out because it was either too hard, or too expensive, to get the copyright permissions.” Jean Davison

X is for X-ray

“This is something that needs careful thought. Are we ready for the exposure? Do we want it? Why? I think it’s important to examine our motives for writing, or more importantly for seeking publication of, a memoir before going ahead and trying for publication.” Jean Davison

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During the challenge, I visited several blogs whose authors were also doing the challenge, and read about song lyrics, recipes, animals, life in a Spanish village and more. I wish I’d had time to visit more blogs.

A huge thank you to everyone who commented here. You encouraged me to continue and taught me so much. Hopefully, this will lead to something like this:

But hopefully with a more exciting title and cover!

Whether the weather be fine
Or whether the weather be not,
Whether the weather be cold
Or whether the weather be hot,
We’ll weather the weather
Whatever the weather,
Whether we like it or not.

So what did those little green messages mean in my posts this past week? And how dare I be only partly present for the last week of the A-Z Challenge?

Well, sorry about that, but it just worked out that D and I spent the week in Hong Kong and we loved every minute of it.

I will write more about this experience, but I’ll start with the weather. We left Jerusalem in unseasonably cold and wet weather and returned to typically hot summer weather. We missed Lag B’Omer, the bonfire-lighting festival, but as our children are now grown up we wouldn’t have participated anyway. Most of the country did, of course, and unfortunately, due to hot weather and strong winds, several fires got out of hand.

Hong Kong, as expected, was hot and humid, although the evenings were quite cool. At the end of our first day, the heavens opened for one of the famous thunderstorms. Fortunately we were just about to exit from an underground station. We waited until the rain subsided and then hurried into a shopping centre. The next day, rain was intermittent, but after that there was no rain to speak of until we were safely back at Hong Kong airport, where we watched the downpour through a glass wall and through a window of the plane.

So we were lucky with the weather, especially considering what we did. Can you guess what that was? I’ll tell you about it tomorrow or the next day. And I haven’t forgotten my A-Z summary post.

This post is the last of 26 I am writing for the A-Z Challenge on the subject of writing a memoir. I’m not an expert in writing memoirs, but I’m exploring the topic with thoughts about writing one, and am happy to share the fruits of my exploration.

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We’ve reached the end. But before you fall asleep, we have to go back to the beginning. Now that we’ve travelled through this journey of memoir writing, do we know what the beginning should be?

Well, no. We haven’t exactly written the memoir, just learned about the craft. But I think the beginning needs to reflect the theme of the memoir. It should also reflect a narrative voice, or possibly both (or all) narrative voices.

Thank you for reading my posts on the craft of memoir writing. If you’re about to embark on writing your memoir, I wish you luck.

Unfortunately, but excitingly, I probably won’t be able to respond to your comments before the beginning of May. But do please keep commenting. When the challenge is over, I will write a concluding post with a summary of all the advice you’ve been giving me. And don’t forget, the Comment link is at the top of this post.

This post is one of 26 I am writing for the A-Z Challenge on the subject of writing a memoir. I’m not an expert in writing memoirs, but I’m exploring the topic with thoughts about writing one, and am happy to share the fruits of my exploration.

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I don’t need many excuses to include a video of the Beatles. After all, I grew up with them. But this song tells the opposite story to the one that usually makes a good memoir. “Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away. Now I need a place to hide away.” We like to read about lives that have taken a turn for the better, people who started off badly but turned their lives around.

At least, I do. Don’t you?

Unfortunately, but excitingly, I probably won’t be able to respond to your comments before the beginning of May. But do please keep commenting. When the challenge is over, I will write a concluding post with a summary of all the advice you’ve been giving me. And don’t forget, the Comment link is at the top of this post.

This post is one of 26 I am writing for the A-Z Challenge on the subject of writing a memoir. I’m not an expert in writing memoirs, but I’m exploring the topic with thoughts about writing one, and am happy to share the fruits of my exploration.

—-0—-

An x-ray machine enables a radiologist to see inside you. Your memoir enables your readers to see inside you. Are you ready for the exposure that publishing a memoir will cause? Am I?

Unfortunately, but excitingly, I probably won’t be able to respond to your comments before the beginning of May. But do please keep commenting. When the challenge is over, I will write a concluding post with a summary of all the advice you’ve been giving me. And don’t forget, the Comment link is at the top of this post.

This post is one of 26 I am writing for the A-Z Challenge on the subject of writing a memoir. I’m not an expert in writing memoirs, but I’m exploring the topic with thoughts about writing one, and am happy to share the fruits of my exploration.

—-0—-

Who? What? When? Where? These are all questions we need to answer as we write the scenes that make up the memoir.

But most of all, we need to ask why. Because the why questions help us to make sense of what happened, and we need to make sense of events before letting readers get to them. Readers aren’t therapists. We don’t go to them with our problems. They want to see solutions.

There are many why questions that need to be answered while writing a memoir. Even if the answers don’t make it into the memoir, I think we should know the answers. Knowing them will provide the clarity we require to make the memoir shine.

• Why write a memoir?
• Why did that happen to me?
• Why did I do that?
• Why did they do that?

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It’s time for another story from my past. This is one that probably won’t make it to the memoir.

I’ve been reading a lot of A-Z posts. One set of posts that has fascinated me has been Rosalind Adam’s discussion of song lyrics. In her K post, she asked, “Is there a song that speaks directly to you?” I could mention several such songs, but this time I immediately thought of one in Hebrew and the words, “This summer wear white and pray for the best.”

In the summer of 1986 I’d been through one miscarriage and was at the beginning of another pregnancy. I had a pair of white trousers that were slightly wider in the waist than my others and suitable for this stage. If there had been any bleeding, white wouldn’t have been the best colour to wear, but I hoped that wouldn’t happen again. I often wore those trousers that summer and often sang those words to myself. Fortunately, all was well. He weighed 3.875 kg at birth. That’s 8.54 pounds.

I don’t even know the real meaning of that song!

Unfortunately, but excitingly, I probably won’t be able to respond to your comments before the beginning of May. But do please keep commenting. When the challenge is over, I will write a concluding post with a summary of all the advice you’ve been giving me. And don’t forget, the Comment link is at the top of this post.